WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
