I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize