Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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