So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
