Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
