eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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