remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
