Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize