She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize