I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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