tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Such a big mess for such a small penis
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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