just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I'm having to shit out rocks
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize