You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
