all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
