my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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