dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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