left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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