Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
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he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
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I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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