Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god