..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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