so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
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You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
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He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with