Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
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And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
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Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder