Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.