but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.