why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
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Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
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So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.