You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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