it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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