Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
