You smell like stripper and shame
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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