Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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