Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize