I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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