I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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