He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
