Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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