I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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