I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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