Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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