By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
