he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
