It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Randomize
