Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
