One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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