never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize