Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
