I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
