Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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