hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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