yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize