She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
