sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
