I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I am midnight drunk by noon
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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