All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I booty called her while she was in labor.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
