one two three fourrrrnication!
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
