I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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