I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
