shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
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