He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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