whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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