Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
