We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
