I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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