Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
