So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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