Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
