Sponge bath it is.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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