Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize