I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize