I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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